Barack Obama

This category contains 23 posts

On My Mind This Week: Hurricane Sandy

By Bob Meadows Sandy was anything but Summer Lovin’ Sandy hit us so bad on the East Coast it’s as if she was taking revenge on Hurricane Danny Zuko for breaking her heart. I’m a New Yorker. When I saw the photos of deserted Manhattan streets, I had one thought: Evil Christmas. That’s the only … Continue reading

Obama and Romney: Why Are They Still Campaigning?

By Xavier Muhammad Only one more to go…thank God Admit it: You’ve made up your mind. You probably did it in 2008, as soon as Obama won. Or 2009, when he signed Lilly Ledbetter. Or 2010 when Healthcare passed. Or 2011, when bin Laden ate those bullets. Or 2012, when Mitt got the GOP nod. … Continue reading

To Boost Sagging Ratings, Obama Adds a Cute Kid

By Bill Matthews Obama says the addition of Lil’ Daryl is not a ratings ploy. (WASHINGTON DC) Critics say it’s a desperate attempt to boost the president’s sagging approval rating. The White House calls it love. Regardless, the president who has done so much for television seems to be taking a cue from the medium: … Continue reading

Sasha Obama To Resign Second Daughter Post

By Bill Matthews The littlest Obama is excited to be stepping out on her own (WASHINGTON D.C.) Sasha Obama is stepping down from her role as second daughter. Following other key members of President Obama’s administration including Rahm Emmanuel and Gen. James Jones, the 9-year-old announced her resignation, effective next week. “It has been an … Continue reading

New Healthcare Fixes Include More Robitussin

By Bill Matthews Obama is expected to sign the bill into law (duhhh) (WASHINGTON D.C.) Now that the House of Representatives has passed healthcare reform legislation, the Senate will take up the issue to add fixes. Most of them will focus on including homespun remedies and the all-encompassing goodness of Robitussin. “There was some concern, … Continue reading

After Latest Test Results, Last Resident of Detroit Leaves the City

By Bill Matthews Bears and other wildlife have already moved into the abandoned city (DETROIT) Five months after he became the last person living in Detroit, Jimmy ‘Sweetpea’ Jameson has finally left the city, leaving it unoccupied for the first time since the Potawatomi Indians temporarily abandoned it in 1623. “I can’t get mail service … Continue reading

Nobel Prize Jokes Near All-Time High

By Bill Matthews Something about Nobel winner Niels Jerne just said comedy (OSLO, NORWAY) Punchlines involving the Nobel Prize have soared in the days since President Obama won the Peace designation, but officials say it hasn’t come close to the furor of 1984. “When Niels Jerne won the award for Physiology or Medicine, that was … Continue reading

TPN‘s Trifling Person of the Week

Joe Wilson Some weeks it’s really hard to find a trifling person. Other times, like this week, it’s so easy that I don’t really feel like I’m earning my keep. Remember when Bill Clinton had to explain Monica Lewinsky? Or when George W. Bush was giving his explanations for running the country into the ground? … Continue reading

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