Humor, politics, Satire

What’s On My Mind This Week

By Bob Meadows

Pointing the way for Obama

  • I may lose my card, but Bill Clinton is still my favorite president. Obama should take some lessons from him. The man has more charisma than should be allowed. Seriously, how would 2000-2004 been different if he’d had a third term? I think we wouldn’t be in so much debt. For one, he wouldn’t have started two wars while also cutting taxes.
  • “Being president doesn’t change who you are. It reveals who you are.” Michelle Obama. I tell you: I’m a dude and I would do just about anything for that kind of muscle tone on my arms. Except, you know, go to the gym regularly.
  • I listened to everything the Democrats said this week, just as I did the Republicans last week. And here’s the truth of it all: No matter what the economic plan is, the rich get richer. If I make $100 and you make $50, and we both get 2 percent raises, I’m pulling away from you no matter how you do the math.
  • “They call it Obamacare. It’s true—I care. The other side’s plan is the Romney Doesn’t Care plan.” President Obama, to a crowd in Toledo. Oh snap!
  • Am I better off today than four years ago? I’ll put it this way: four years ago, if we were on a ladder, we were between the 4th and 5th rung; today we’re between the 1st and 2nd rung. The only difference: four years ago we were falling from the top and today we’re climbing toward it. No, I’m not better off. But all the lies that propped up my false sense of security are gone. So what’s happening now is real.
  •  “Well, I think really what got the plant was $4 gas.” Paul Ryan, admitting to NBC News what really shut down a GM plant in Wisconsin, one week after blaming it on Obama.
  • Okay, enough politics. How about this disheartening news: Conservation groups say poachers are wiping out tens of thousands of elephants a year, more than at any time in two decades.
  • FloridaA&M University suspended its Torque Dance Team following allegations of an off-campus hazing incident. First the band, now the cheer squad. It’s like FAM exists in some alternative world where the nerds are the toughest kids around.
  • In news that may only interest us Brooklynites, despite enhanced security, the West Indian Day Parade again ended violently, with 2 people stabbed to death and 2 people shot and wounded. Folks are meeting to understand why this happens. I don’t get it: violence happens every year connected to the parade. Why not just end it?
  • No one asked me, but Prince’s greatest album? 3-way tie with 1999, Purple Rain and Sign O the Times. Gun to my head, I’d pick Sign.
  • Trifling Person of the Week: Lee Douglas, a dentist south of Nashville and anti-Shariah activist. Isn’t it odd that someone in America, south of Nashville, would be known as an anti-Shariah activist? Anyway, he helped draft a resolution criticizing the governor and Islam. He says Islam is diametrically opposed to his faith, and thatdeference should be shown to the religion of the Founding Fathers. When will people understand that the FFs weren’t Christians?
  • Finally, here’s a shout out to Michael Clarke Duncan. I always enjoyed your performances, big fella. Rest in peace.

© 2012 The Peoples News

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