Humor, Satire

On My Mind This Week

Condi plays the Masters (sort of)

By Bob Meadows

Nude politicians take on the Sea of Galilee and Condoleezza Rice joining August National Golf Club were two topics that had me—and you—buzzing this week

  • GOP Rep. Kevin Yoder pulled a Prince Harry, stripping naked and jumping into the Sea of Galilee during a congressional field trip. Your tax dollars at work, people.
  • Augusta National Golf Club admitted women for the first time in its history, power players Condoleezza Rice and Darla Moore. Tiger Woods had mixed feelings. He was happy women were admitted, sad he’s already slept with both of them.
  • A long goodnight to Phyllis Diller. She was on every variety show in the 70s, and one time Johnny Carson said she was the ugliest woman in the world. I was young enough to think it was true, and I wondered who took that survey. RIP.
  • I’m hearing so much about voter suppression. Judges are coming out in favor of it left and right. The GOP is ecstatic; Dems are not. But I wonder: are the people who will be affected by the suppression taking steps to make sure they’ll have proper credentials by November? They had months to get their shit in order.
  • Least accurate assessment of President Obama is he hates the military. Come on right wingers, you can’t be that blind. Why would he give so much work to people he hates??? Just this week Mr. President pointed his finger at Syria, saying use of chemical weapons there would be a “red line” that could then spur the U.S. to action. Heavy sigh. I swear this guy loves to fight.
  • Worse comment: Todd Akin, or Whoopi Goldberg saying Roman Polanski didn’t “rape” rape the 13 year old girl he raped way back in the day? The talking head networks have fallen in the pattern you’d expect, with MSNBC saturating coverage of Akin’s idiocy, Fox ignoring it, and CNN, bless their hearts, likely giving it the proper amount of attention. Guaranteeing no one watches them.
  • Study on generosity of Americans suggests states with the least religious residents are also the stingiest about giving to charity. Most generous state: Utah, where residents gave 10.6% of their discretionary income to charity. Least generous: New Hampshire, at 2.5%. What other irrelevant statistics can I drum up?
  • Artist Neil Rivas portrays superheroes as illegal immigrants. Hey Neil, when illegals start lifting cars over their heads, let’s talk. Oh, and (nerd alert) Aqua-Man actually lives in the seas, not the U.S.
  • Finally, Nene Leaks has a new granddaughter: Bri’Asia. Let’s see: Beautiful girl? Check. Made-up name? Double check. Unnecessary apostrophe? Triple check. Judge Cabrera, where are you?

© 2012 The Peoples News

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