By Shawna Collier
No one gets more excited about the British royal family than black people
(ATLANTA) Jelisha Turner is finally able to sleep. The news she and all her neighbors have been waiting for finally came through: Prince William is marrying.
“You talk about things that I really care about. Prince William marrying that beautiful woman is at the top of my list,” Turner told The Peoples News. “I stayed up until all hours of the night back in 1981, when his mother and father married, and I’ll do the same thing when William ties the knot.”
William, 28, proposed to Kate Middleton in Kenya last month just after finishing a hearty plate of baby back ribs at Famous Dave’s Barbecue.
Most blacks, like Turner, have followed the prince since his birth in 1982. Even his parents’ 1981 marriage is so revered that, much like Barack Obama’s election, September 11 and the Space Shuttle explosion, African Americans can remember where they were when Prince Charles wed Lady Diana Spencer.
Leroy Meadows (who recalls he watched the affair at a party thrown by his pals George Hay and Ervin Dawson) said he and his son, Chris, could barely contain their excitement while following Diana’s first pregnancy.
“I’m something of an Anglophile, and that’s how I raised my son. I remember Chris and I taking bets on whether the baby would be a boy or a girl, what they would name the child. I thought it was going to be Robert!” Meadows recalled with a hearty laugh. “Chris still reads everything he can about William. I’m really happy for them.”
William told The Peoples News he proposed by performing an interpretive bird dance his father had taught him. As he soared like a crow returning to its nest, he regurgitated a ring that fell onto Middleton’s plate. The ring, which his mother had worn, fit Middleton’s ring finger perfectly once it was wiped off.
He said they will have a small wedding with just a few friends.
“Blimey bloke snog, mate,” William said. “Blarney ponce innit loo sod off, blimey.”
Black people are disappointed the small wedding likely won’t be televised, but they’re just happy William found someone to spend his life with.
“It really kept me up at nights. Whenever I’d see him on the cover of People or Us or one of the other great magazines, I’d just think ‘When, when?'” said J’Quinta Anderson. “It’s a story that I never found tedious or meaningless. This is someone’s life and I wish them the best.”
© 2010 The Peoples News
thepeoplesnews.wordpress.com 
I haven’t been this excited since Prince Hakeem married Lisa McDowell.
Posted by Lou | November 17, 2010, 9:17 amLOL…I don’t understand why people care so much about this wedding.
Posted by Caryn M. | November 17, 2010, 9:28 amTPN says: Sorry Mike, no profanity allowed in comments. Also, you continuously seem to miss the point of our satire. It’s not the institution of marriage we’re making fun of. It’s the media attention this is drawing.
Posted by Mike | November 17, 2010, 10:36 amShe seem like a really sweet person =)
Posted by Roll Off Trucks | November 19, 2010, 11:06 amreally? since when do black folks care about a bunch of royal ugly freeloaders? ha ha ha, this article was clearly meant to be a joke….
Posted by Sheena | November 20, 2010, 2:59 amWhat nonsense, how many black people did you pole to get this rederick? You can’t stereotype us. We’re far too complex to be understood. We’re not excited about this. Why should we be.
The Peoples News responds: “You can’t stereotype us.” “We’re not excited about this.” Interesting.
Posted by BARBARA | November 22, 2010, 8:45 pmI love Barbara for her mind.
Posted by Special Ed | December 16, 2010, 10:16 amMost blacks have followed the prince since 1982??? Shawna Collier stick with people news you won’t make it in the real world of news reporting this type of made up bull. I’m black and I have not followed the prince nor has anyone that I know. Please if you want to make statements on an entire race of people don’t be lazy. Do your research!
The Peoples News responds: Didn’t you just speak for ‘an entire race’ when you said blacks aren’t excited about it?
Posted by BARBARA | November 22, 2010, 8:51 pmHer spelling rival that only of Torie’s. Will she marry me and make me look good and smart?
Posted by Special Ed | December 16, 2010, 10:18 amAre there really that many people who don’t grasp the concept of sarcasm?
Amazing.
Posted by Lou | December 16, 2010, 9:37 amEvidently, Lou.
Posted by Alexandra Taylor | December 18, 2010, 6:57 pmI think a lot of people missed English class when satire was taught. The whole site is satirical. Good grief! (And I LOVE this site!)
Posted by Alexandra Taylor | December 18, 2010, 6:55 pmI heard that Alexandra.
Who’s “Rederick” is that your man? Stop taking out your baby-dady frustrations on this site.
Posted by Lou | December 20, 2010, 3:31 pmHi-frigging-larious!
Actually I do know some black people who are interested in this but they are either Canadian, British or from Commonwealth countries. I did watch Charles and Diana’s wedding but I was a teenager with no sense.
Posted by Michelle | December 21, 2010, 10:41 pm