By Bill Matthews
(WASHINGTON D.C.) Sasha Obama is stepping down from her role as second daughter. Following other key members of President Obama’s administration including Rahm Emmanuel and Gen. James Jones, the 9-year-old announced her resignation, effective next week.
“It has been an honor serving alongside the President and First Lady, as well as First Daughter Malia,” a tearful Sasha told reporters. “But this is a key juncture in my life and I feel it’s best for all involved that I move on.”
The resignation was expected. Insiders have hinted that Sasha was unhappy in her limited role.
In an exclusive interview with The Peoples News, Sasha confirmed that she has a reality show in the works. The fourth grader wouldn’t, however, say what her role would be–but hinted that it might involve running for the mayor of Chicago.
“You’ll have to watch to find out,” she said, winking.
Sasha said she found her role as Second Daughter superfluous. Originally billed as the ‘cute spunky one,’ Sasha’s public role diminished sharply after Barack and Michelle Obama said the girl and Malia would no longer give interviews.
Sasha admitted she missed the spotlight, but doesn’t think her departure will adversely affect the Obamas.
“Given the small amount of public appearances that come my way now, I’m certain Malia can pick up any slack,” Sasha said. “If Chelsea Clinton could handle it as an only child, I know Malia can.”
Trouble had been brewing for about a year, say insiders. A recent overseas trip to Spain with only Michelle and Sasha was designed to ease the tensions. Instead, the trip exacerbated Sasha’s frustration.
“Sasha thought she was going to be on the covers of all the Europe papers as the cute pixie taking Europe by storm. Instead, the press ignored her. They just focused on whether the trip was even necessary,” said a White House official who didn’t want his name use. “That was the last straw.”
The President was outwardly happy for Sasha, and said there were no hard feelings.
“There’s no way I can express my gratitude to her for so gracefully handling such a challenging role,” Obama said. “I wish her the best in all she does.”
He said the search for a new Second Daughter would begin by the end of the month. Willow Smith and Zahara Jolie-Pitt have both been mentioned as leading candidates.
Note: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News.