By Shawna Collier
(ATLANTA) Tyler Perry pulled off an amazing feat in his version of For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf: a light-skinned black man saved all the nameless women.
While all of Perry’s movies feature a light-skinned man rescuing a downtrodden damsel from her ignorant, dark-skinned mate, his work in For Colored Girls is astonishing because no men are actually in the play.
“I really had to dig deep to find the light -skinned hero on this one,” Perry told The Peoples News. “The first time I saw this play I was so moved by the sad stories some of these downtrodden women tell. There was only one thing missing. A light-skinned man to save the day. I’ve made so much money these last few years that I was finally able to create my vision.”
Perry teared up discussing the climactic final scene where Shemar Moore’s character, Lance Dashing, soldiers up for the women, portrayed by a stellar cast including Janet Jackson, Whoopi Goldberg, Kerry Washington, and Phylicia Rashad. Perry also appears as his popular Madea.
Wesley Snipes, Djimon Hounsou and Delroy Lindo star as the evil dark-skinned men who torment the women.
“I’m not saying that in real life light-skinned men are all heroes and dark-skinned men are all bad. Just in every single one of my movies,” Perry says. “The darker they are, the more evil they are. But, again, only in my movies.”
Moore vanquishes Snipes and company, who are known as the Coal Black Threee.
“Janet’s character, who is downtrodden and selfless and a saint, of course, realizes that her man just ain’t no good, and when she confronts him, he tells her that she’s stupid, she can’t cook, and she’s no good in bed. Then he kills her puppy,” Moore said. “I happen to walk in, revive the puppy, and then kick the dude in his butt.”
The audience, Perry said, will certainly scream with delight throughout the scene.
“Not necessarily because we like it. Just because that’s how we do,” Perry said.
The movie debuts November 5, just in time to receive Oscar consideration. Such recognition will be a switch for Perry, who usually makes his movies plot free.
But the source material, a moving play by Ntozake Shange, was so strong that Perry had to pull out all the stops to mess it up.
His initial cast included Paris Hilton and Jennifer Aniston as two of the nameless, downtrodden women. But both women had to drop out–Hilton because she didn’t realize she was in the movie and Aniston because playing a single girl who wasn’t looking for love was too much of a stretch for her meager talent.
“So it’s not my complete vision, but it’s close,” Perry said.
Next up, Perry will remake A Soldier’s Story, featuring light-skinned Terrence Howard in the hero role that brown-skinned Howard Rollins played in the original.
This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News.