Humor, Religion, Satire

Burning Korans: Next on Hillbilly Justice

By Bill Matthews

Jones won $20 from pals for coming up with this idea

(GAINESVILLE, FL) Pastor Terry Jones says it started with a gentleman’s bet among friends. Who, they wondered, could make Muslims hate the United States the most.

While one of the men came up with defriending Muslims on Facebook, Jones’s suggestion took the prize. His brainstorm: Burning Korans.

“I first thought of throwing snowballs at Muslims or drawing a picture of Prophet Muhammad in the South Park style,” Jones told The Peoples News. “But this just seemed to make way more sense.”

While Jones still hasn’t collected on the $20 bet he made with his pals, he will hold his Koran burning on September 11, the ninth anniversary of September 11.

“Nearly 3,000 Americans died that day at the hands of Muslim terrorists. It was a terribly sad day that will live forever in our history,” Jones said. “This is retribution. Sure, we’d rather burn Muslims themselves, but that’s against the law in most parts of Florida. So we’re gonna put their religious guide on a spit and see what happens.”

Jones said his angry mob would use hell fire to burn the Korans.

Overseas, Jones’ plan to piss off Muslims is working like a charm. This weekend, throngs burned the American flag, protested outside embassies, and chanted ‘Death to America.’

Then things got real heated once they found out about Jones’ protest.

“Oh no those infidels aren’t,” screamed one Muslim woman who protested in Afghanistan. At least, that’s what it sounded like—she was covered in a burka so not completely intelligible. (In fact, the protester might have been a man).

Angry Muslims protested in Indonesia, Iraq, Lithuania, Senegal, Brazil, Thailand and Gainesville. All the protests were led by FOX crazy man Glenn Beck, who held them to honor Martin Luther King Jr.

Jones said his message—that he hates Muslims—is aimed only at radical Muslims, not the ones that don’t mind their holy book being completely desecrated.

“I’m a peace-loving man and I’m burning this Koran in hopes that seeing an American cover it in lighter fluid and drop a match on it will force evil Muslims to change their ways and become Christian,” Jones said. “It’s crazy. It’s stupid. But that’s just the kind of guy I am.”

© 2010 The Peoples News



6 thoughts on “Burning Korans: Next on Hillbilly Justice

  1. Hulk Hogan’s daddy need to be ashamed of himself!

    I would make a serious comment but this doesn’t warrant one. This is precisely the type of attention this ignorant ass church has been seeking for years.

    Trust me, I live down here in the midst of all this foolishness– a few months ago they were protesting “Black Tail” magazine or something.

    Posted by Lou | September 8, 2010, 8:28 am
  2. You gotta love how he said that he’d change his mind if he got a “clear sign from God.” Uhhhh, excuse me dumbass, doesn’t millions of people worldwide telling you not to do it qualify as a clear sign? Or perhaps you need God to send you a telegram? Moron.

    Posted by Stephan | September 8, 2010, 9:15 am
  3. I would never participate in something like this, nor would I have an abortion. I am really offended by many things that people do in this world. Burning my flag. Illegal Drugs. Entering a country without permission. Our Founding Fathers did not intend to protect us from being annoyed or offended. They wanted us to be free to make choices, personal choices. All choices have consequences. Sometimes we suffer the consequences of other peoples choices. Do you want to live in a society with personal freedoms or not? Do you really want to surrender your personal freedom of choice, because that is what you are doing if you do not support this peoples choice to burn korans. Is it stupid? That depends on your point of view. Are you going to want other people judging your choices? Personally, give me freedom or give me death.

    The Peoples News responds: The good reverend is free to burn Korans. And as you say, he has to accept the consequences. One of them is having us call him an idiot.

    Given how many times we have published letters from folks who disagree with us, yes, we are willing to have people judge our choices too.

    Posted by Renee Bell | September 11, 2010, 7:09 am
    • I think we are in agreement – but I want to reiterate that sometimes “we” will suffer the consequences of “others” stupidity. Do I believe he incited Muslims around the world? No. I think they would have found another reason to act as they do. I am more concerned that people would want to squelch this guy in fear of radical Muslims around the world.
      Do you support his ‘right’ to burn korans, even if it might incite Muslims around the world?

      The Peoples News responds: My favorite bit from our story was how Muslims around the world were burning the American flag and protesting, and once they head about the Koran burning, things really got ugly. So I agree the radical fringe didn’t need this guy to rile them up. As far as his right to burn Korans—I just find the act asinine.

      Posted by Renee | September 13, 2010, 5:52 pm
      • oh jeez – I’m sorry – I loved the article! Very funny!
        “Oh no those infidels aren’t,” screamed one Muslim woman who protested in Afghanistan. At least, that’s what it sounded like—she was covered in a burka so not completely intelligible. (In fact, the protester might have been a man)…” was my favorite!
        I will stop being so serious… and political… you Peoples are wonderful!

        Posted by Renee | September 15, 2010, 4:15 pm
  4. Arrest this guy, hes a lunatic!

    Posted by rockwatching | September 11, 2010, 9:10 pm

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