Humor, Satire

DEA Seeks Ebonics Experts

If you speak it, the DEA wants you!

(ATLANTA) Federal agents are seeking to hire Ebonics translators to help interpret wiretapped conversations involving targets of undercover drug investigations.

The Drug Enforcement Agency recently sent memos asking companies that provide translation services to help it find nine translators in the Southeast who are fluent in Ebonics, Special Agent Michael Sanders said Monday.

I speak jive,” said Barbara Billingsley, an L.A. woman. To prove herself, she translated several Ebonics-filled phone calls including one from a man who told her he was “S’mofo butter layin’ me to da’ BONE! Jackin’ me up.”

Billingsley correctly informed the DEA that the man was ill. After her success, agents began a search for translators covering a wide swath of the Southeast, including Atlanta, Washington, New Orleans, Miami and the Caribbean

Ebonics, which is also known as African American Vernacular English, has been described by the psychologist who coined the term as the combination of English vocabulary with African language structure. It’s like Creole, except without the romantic notions of Louisiana swamps.

Some DEA agents already help translate Ebonics, Sanders said. But he said wasn’t sure if the agency has ever hired outside Ebonics experts as contractors.

“They saw a need for this in a couple of their investigations,” he said. “And when you see a need—it may not be needed now—but we want the contractors to provide us with nine people just in case.”

Sanders said he’s uncertain why other regions aren’t hiring Ebonics translators, but suggested they had more partially illiterate people already on staff.

Linguists said Ebonics can be trickier than it seems, partly because the vocabulary evolves so quickly.

“A lot of times people think you’re just dealing with a few slang words, and that you can finesse your way around it,” said John Rickford, a Stanford University linguistics professor. “And it’s not — it’s a big vocabulary. You’ll have some significant differences” from English.

For instance, ‘shorty’ can mean a child, a girlfriend, a short person, a beer, a stutter, the winning hand in poker, or that zombies are chasing you. The meaning depends on the nuance used by the speaker.

Critics worry that the DEA’s actions could set a precedent, especially given the failure of the mid-1980s “Hillbilly translator” program. That multi-pronged attack left seven dead.

“Hiring translators for languages that are of questionable merit to begin with is just going in the wrong direction,” said Aloysius Hogan, the government relations director of English First, a national lobbying group that, oddly, promotes the use of barbecue tongs.

“I’m not aware of Ebonics training schools or tests. Does someone really need school to learn how not to spell? I mean, I knew how to do that before I was even in school. I can not spell with the best of them,” he said. “I support the concept of pursuing drug dealers if they’re using code words, but this is definitely going in the wrong direction.”

H. Samy Alim, a Stanford linguistics professor who specializes in black language and hip-hop culture, said he thought the hiring effort was a joke when he first heard about it, but that it highlights a serious issue.

“It seems ironic that schools that are serving and educating black children have not recognized the legitimacy of this language. Yet the authorities and the police are recognizing that this is a language that they don’t understand,” he said. “It really tells us a lot about where we are socially in terms of recognizing African-American speech.”

Rickford said that hiring Ebonics experts could come in handy for the DEA. “I could be one. I spell my last name R-uh, I, C, K, F, O, R-uh, D. I know it’s ghetto, but I can’t help it. Ebonics, baby!” He added, however, that it’s hard to determine whether a prospective employee can speak the language well enough to translate since there are no standardized tests and if there were, someone who spoke Ebonics would likely not finish it.

Finding the right translators could be the difference between a successful investigation or a failed one, said Sanders. While he said many listeners can get the gist of what Ebonics speakers are saying, it could take an expert to define it in court.

“You can maybe get a general idea of what they’re saying, but you have to understand that this has to hold up in court,” he said. “You need someone to say, ‘I know what they mean when they say ‘ballin’ or ‘pinching pennies.'”

This article, sadly, is true. Well, most of it.

© 2010 The Peoples News

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Discussion

3 thoughts on “DEA Seeks Ebonics Experts

  1. I would like to see a “Criminal Minds”/’CSI” type of show centered around this scenario where they put together an elite team of hoodrats to crack these type of cases. They could do a Cold Case episode where they look at old interviews and try to figure out what the hell James Brown was saying all those years.

    Oh well gotta go–shorty situation.

    Yep, I’m being chased by zombies.

    The Peoples News responds: We would watch that, Lou.

    Posted by Lou | August 25, 2010, 8:21 am
    • Remember, on the 2003 ‘WIRE’ , Lt. Daniels had a Sista Sgt. sit full time on the ‘wiretaps’ interpreting Baltimore Eastside/Westside drug gangs for the salt & pepper cops.

      Professor John McWhorter disagreed saying it clearly means (“S’mofo butter layin’ me to da’ BONE! Jackin’ me up.”) that ” ‘S’mofo’ have lower sperm counts due to penis riding pants over the last decade” which drove sociologist William Junious Wilson to declare now there should be a lower ‘baby-daddy’ rate for the term ending in 2015.

      Posted by connorlarkin | August 25, 2010, 9:38 am
  2. Love the Airplane Jive-Lady reference!!!

    Posted by Stephan | August 25, 2010, 8:57 am

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