Humor, Satire, Trifling Person of the Week

TPN‘s Trifling Criminal of the Week

Marium Varinauskas

Just so you know: Alcohol was involved.

Ol’ Marium is a big drinker, it seems. His girlfriend called the cops to report his behavior, and when the female cop arrived, well, hijinks ensued.

Now this happened in Scotland, so maybe they do things differently over there. But Marium’s next actions sound pretty bad, no matter what country you’re in. He dropped trou, pulled out his penis—and ATTACKED THE COP WITH IT. Pardon me a moment while I roll on the floor and laugh. I’ll let fiscal depute Elaine Lynch say it in her own words: “The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck.”

Evasive action. Like a nut shot, perhaps?

Anyway, Marium says he’s stopped binge drinking. Yeah, attacking cops with your manhood is always a sign that you should cut down on the bourbon. But you’re still trifling.

And yes, that is two straight groin-related TPNs!

—Xavier Muhammad

© 2010 The Peoples News



2 thoughts on “TPN‘s Trifling Criminal of the Week

  1. Cultural misunderstanding, People’s News. This is a polite formal greeting in Scotland.

    Posted by LOU | March 19, 2010, 8:07 am
  2. Once I stop laughing, I’m sure I’ll be speechless……

    Posted by Stephan | March 19, 2010, 10:35 am

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