African American, Basketball, Humor, Satire

White-Only Basketball League Forms

By Bill Matthews

The game was so much better then, says Lewis.

(ATLANTA) Hoping to create the first sports league that has no spectators, Don “Moose” Lewis is putting together a basketball league featuring only American-born players who have two Caucasian parents.

“And I don’t mean like Webster, where it’s some black kid adopted by white people either,” Lewis told The Peoples News in an exclusive interview. “I’m talking about a game where only the basketball is brown. Or orange. Whatever.”

His new league, the All-American Basketball Alliance, intends to kick off its inaugural season in June.

“White people like basketball played with precise cuts, crisp passes and, preferably, below the rim,”  Lewis said. “The fast-paced street game of the NBA just doesn’t cut it anymore. We have to take back the sport we invented.”

Lewis, a boxing promoter and professional huckster, previously tried to create his own basketball league in 2001. It was a multi-ethnic league he called the American Basketball Association and he planned to pay white players extra for wearing crew cuts and blacks more for wearing Afros. The league didn’t catch on.

But he has hope for the AABA.

“There’s nothing white people like more than watching white people play sports. White Americans, that is,” he said. “The most popular athletes in the world today are white Americans. Like Brett Farve.”

When pressed to name another popular white American athlete, Lewis was momentarily stumped. But then he rallied.

“Jimmy Johnson and all the NASCAR guys!” he said.

The NBA was once an all-white league, and whites dominated rosters until the 1970s when owners finally accepted that blacks were much, much, much better at the game.

Lewis said he wants to emphasize fundamental basketball and pointed out recent incidents in the NBA, including Gilbert Arenas’ indefinite suspension after bringing guns into the Washington Wizards locker room, as examples of fans’ dissatisfaction with the way current professional sports are run.

“Would you want to go to the game and worry about a player attacking you in the stands or grabbing their crotch?” he said. “Or what if they poured salt on your head and tried to eat you? Is that what white fans want? I say no.”

Lewis said race has no bearing on his decision to close his league off to anyone who isn’t an American-born white person. He also said he will probably never watch any of the games.

Note: This article is true.

© 2010 The Peoples News

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Discussion

12 thoughts on “White-Only Basketball League Forms

  1. I thought it was a hoax! Link in my name…

    Posted by Ophelia | January 21, 2010, 7:14 am
  2. Really? Should I send it to snopes.com for verification?

    The Peoples News responds: Feel free, James, or you can check on any other news website.

    Posted by James | January 21, 2010, 9:17 am
  3. I laughed till I saw that you said it was a true article. Then had to look it up because I didn’t believe you. Sure enough, it’s true.

    What a world we live in.

    Posted by Richard Decker | January 21, 2010, 9:33 am
  4. I recall my high school coach forbidding any of his players to watch a pro BB game, “You will only pick up bad habits, it’s not real BB”. How right he was, pro’s don’t bother dribbling in the key area but never get a traveling call. They don’t ‘work’ the ball as do HS or college, just run ‘n shoot. I don’t necessarily want an all-white league, but I would like to see the NBA clean up their game. Also, I WOULD pay to see an all-white league before I would give a nickle for an NBA game. The NBA is dieing:

    http://washingtontimes.com/news/2009/feb/26/nba-set-to-acquire-175-million-line-of-credit/

    http://atlanticyardsreport.blogspot.com/2008/12/looking-at-nbas-and-nets-history-of.html

    By the way, what is so exciting about a ‘dunk’? If only one point is given for a foul shot, a dunk should be worth one-half point!

    The Peoples News responds: I love the pro game and find college ball boring. My buddy loves college and hates the pros. To each their own.

    Posted by Jim | January 21, 2010, 10:13 am
  5. Whoa.

    Posted by Amy | January 21, 2010, 12:43 pm
  6. I don’t think this guy’s serious…I think that this is his way of protesting minority only institutions, but his argument is flawed. The reason there’s a Black Miss America, a black cable channel, NAACP, etc. is because blacks were, up until about 40 years ago, excluded from just about all of these aspects of society. They were formed out of necessity. The reason the NBA is mostly black is the same reason that the Hocky League and Olympic Swim teams are almost exclusivly white….they’re just trying to find the most capable athletes.

    Posted by LOU | January 21, 2010, 1:43 pm
  7. Thanks Opelia, mayhaps TPN should check your link. Unfortunately I’ve met enough people who would promote this shilt that the truthiness is almost believable. Thank the gods and godesses for people like Ophelia who are not as renowned as me at professional procrastination.

    The Peoples News responds: By “this story is true,” we meant that, unlike many of our stories, we didn’t make it up. It did happen. But we also made a point of noting Moose’s past antics (the ABA). He’s a huckster and showman.

    Posted by James | January 21, 2010, 2:17 pm
  8. I take it Jim has never dunked before. LOL If folks want to line up to see the AABA version of basketball, it’s already available in the summer time. It’s called the WNBA. The league draws nice crowds in some markets and has a national TV contract with ESPN. That said, It like the AABA hasn’t really caught on; not quite enough athleticism on display for mainstream sports fans I surmise.

    Posted by Vin | January 21, 2010, 7:21 pm
  9. If he goes with that acronym, he might end up getting sued by a certain Scandinavian disco group from the seventies.

    The Peoples News responds: That was ABBA

    Posted by LOU | January 22, 2010, 7:36 am
  10. Wonder if the season will interfere with the Negro Baseball League schedule?

    The Peoples News responds: The NBA, which formed in 1946, was all white when the Negro Leagues were still around. But baseball integrated the next year and the NL died out by the mid-50s. By then, the NBA had also integrated.

    And before anyone else says it: The Harlem Globetrotters have had white players—and women.

    Posted by Mike | January 22, 2010, 9:22 am
  11. Segregation is NOT the way to go, let me call up my affirmative action folks and see what can be done……..

    Posted by Barack | January 22, 2010, 9:24 am

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