By Bill Matthews
Kanye asked Taylor Swift if she had seen his mind anywhere
(NEW YORK) Three years after it was first reported missing, the mind of Kanye West is the subject of an ever-increasing brainhunt.
This morning, NASA pledged use of the Hubble Telescope to see if it could locate the gray matter.
“If Kanye is allowed to remain mindless much longer, it could be detrimental to the entire world,” said NASA spokesman Greg Stapleton. “Trust me, his has to get his mind back, or we will all be in great danger.”
Stapleton said NASA became involved when it was discovered that the world does, in fact, revolves around West. While West has preached that for many years, many assumed it was just more of his mindless ramblings.
Yet without a mind to guide him, West’s behavior just grows more irrational, and now threatens to throw the Earth off its orbit and eventually plunge the planet into the sun.
West said he misplaced his mind in 2006. He wanted to change it because it was dirty but instead, lost it.
His latest act of mindless behavior occurred Sunday night. After Taylor Swift won Best Video Female at the Video Music Awards, West, wearing a Glad trash bag he cut into a vest, ran onstage. He began talking but, as usual, without a mind, his words came out as gibberish.
“I wanted to bring attention to my haircut, which I did using a swirly spoon and an early 90s book on cool cuts,” West said in a statement that was written in crayons.
An MTV spokeswoman said the move was “vintage, mindless Kanye.”
“He got away with being mindless for some time, but now it’s pretty obvious he doesn’t think before he does anything–speak, attempt to sing, coordinate his outfits, get haircuts,” said the spokeswoman. “Pretty much now, everything he does, people are saying ‘Kanye’s lost his mind.’ His secret is out, and it isn’t pretty.”
© 2009 The Peoples News