African American, Barack Obama, Humor, Media, politics, Satire

Rush Limbaugh Confesses to Obama Crush

By Bill Matthews

rushlimbaugh-copyLimbaugh has recently made some changes to his office.

(ST. LOUIS) While Barack Obama was overseas recently, Rush Limbaugh told The Peoples News that he’s completely smitten with the president.

“Oh sure, I hate the guy’s economic plans and every strategy that he’s come up with for America—but I just can’t help myself. I really like him,” Limbaugh said in an exclusive interview.

When asked if he liked him liked him, or just liked him, Limbaugh, an ardent conservative, said he couldn’t ask and couldn’t tell.

Limbaugh waited until the president was overseas to spill his true feelings, because he didn’t want Obama to find out. But his man crush has been obvious. He’s been a constant thorn in Obama’s side, and earlier this year even told his millions of listeners that he hopes Obama’s policies to lead America out of its economic turmoil fail. All of it was to deflect his true feelings.

“Oh yeah, on the radio, he’s all like ‘I hate Obama, I hate Obama,’ but when that light goes off, he’s all like ‘Do you think he knows who I am?'” said Limbaugh’s BFF Tom Hazlett, a professor at George Mason University. “He’s so weird like that.”

Limbaugh said Obama has won him over. He said he realized his mistrust was misplaced.

“When Obama speaks, you can really understand him and get his point. I’m just not used to that, and so I didn’t trust it,” said Limbaugh, who said the last truly eloquent president was his idol, Ronald Reagan. “Once I got used to a president who I felt was smarter than me, I warmed right up to him.”

Several of Obama’s aides said they were surprised by Limbaugh’s conversion, but the President told The Peoples News that he expected it.

Look, everyone loves me, sooner than later,” he said in a sitdown interview at the Oval Office. He then flashed his confident smile and we too were his.

Limbaugh said he will continue denouncing Obama’s economic policies, but with a little less vinegar than before.

“It’ll be like an old married couple bickering, only with a little bit more love,” he said. “Rush is still right, but now with a slight nod to the left.”

In a related story, conservative commentator Ann Coulter said she will still breath fire whenever Obama is mentioned.

Note: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News.

© 2009 The Peoples News

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Discussion

6 thoughts on “Rush Limbaugh Confesses to Obama Crush

  1. Rush appears to have lost some weight — trying to make a good impression I guess

    Posted by Davis | June 9, 2009, 9:32 am
  2. Ha! You can’t get more satirical than this.

    Posted by Leroy | June 9, 2009, 9:43 am
  3. I totally support our dear leaders economic plans, I mean just look at how many jobs have been saved, or I mean, not lost, since he started spending money like a drunken sailor on shore leave.

    Posted by Joe | June 9, 2009, 10:46 am
  4. Not sure of any jobs being saved, or not lost, but I do know the bankruptcy courts and the welfare offices are hiring more staff.

    Posted by Mike | June 9, 2009, 11:02 am
  5. Its obvious Rush has a thing for Obama. Its like in the schoolyard when boys don’t know how to express their liking for girls, so they pull their hair and act all mean to them.

    Posted by Eurasian Sensation | June 9, 2009, 8:26 pm
  6. You know, I agree with you. I can’t see any jobs – at all. Bankruptcy is going to become America’s next big trend, like watching American Idol or Survivor. It’ll be like a major movie that everybody lines up for hours in advance.
    As for Welfare, don’t you know that word isn’t used anymore? We get Food Stamps, and SSI, and other unearned compensations, but we don’t get welfare.

    Do we?

    Posted by melissa | June 9, 2009, 9:32 pm

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