1775: Patrick Henry declares “Give me liberty or give me death,” a resounding speech that inspires a war that will bring freedom for everyone in America–except for, well, you know.
Lining up for the Internment Camps
1942: The U.S. begins moving Japanese-Americans into internment centers, the birth of the urban renewal it will use to destroy black neighborhoods in the ’60s.
1956: Sudan becomes independent. The next day, it’s in turmoil and asking the world to save it.
Elijah and Malcolm, before things went bad
1964: Nation of Islam leader Elijah Muhammad tells Boston Minister Louis X (soon to be Farrakhan) that hypocrites like Malcolm X should have “their heads cut off,” and boy do they wish he hadn’t said that.
Lynch was far more honest than her superiors
2003: A U.S. Army convoy is attacked in Iraq, but luckily, blond-haired, blue-eyed Pfc. Jessica Lynch holds them off with a toothbrush and fanny pack. At least, that’s what the Army reports.
This article is satire brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News.
© 2009 The Peoples News
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