Samoset, about to say the wrong thing
1621: Samoset, a Mohegan Indian, arrives at the Plymouth Colony with a message to the Pilgrims that he thinks says “Welcome, my name is Samoset.” But tragically, his prankster friend, Leroy, had actually taught him to say “Please tell your countrymen back home to come steal our land and wipe us out.”
1802: After battling the French, the Spanish and the British in a long, bloody war that wins independence for Haiti and ends slavery—but then being betrayed by a French officer who has him and his family deported to France where he is interrogated endlessly for a year, Toussaint Louverture, just 23 days before his death, coins the phrase “You can’t trust Whitey.”
A ’58 Ford Thunderbird
1958: The Ford Motor Co. produces its 50 millionth vehicle, a Thunderbird, fooling Detroiters into thinking it would always be a great place to work.
1959: William Drayton Jr. is born. As Flava Flav he helped create both the seminal rap group, Public Enemy, which preached black pride. Away from the group, he has done everything in his power to tear that feeling down.
Sheila E., The Fat Boys, Run-DMC and Kurtis Blow starred
1985: Director Michael Shultz finishes principle shooting on Krush Groove. Despite having also helmed Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Heart Club Band, The Last Dragon, Carbon Copy and the sequel to The Jerk, the director somehow keeps getting work.
This article is satire brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News.
© 2009 The Peoples News
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