By Bill Matthews
Jindal believes you can do anything.
(BATON ROUGE) Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal’s primetime speech last week was widely panned by Republicans and Democrats alike–but it was actually a roaring success.
Jindal, who delivered the Republican response to President Obama’s address to Congress as if the viewing public consisted of 5-year-olds, used that creepy tone because he was auditioning for a new job.
“The President asked me if I was good with kids. I told him I could do anything, but he said he wanted proof,” Jindal told The Peoples News. “What better time to show my stuff than in front of a national audience? I wasn’t sure at first, but as soon as I saw that camera, I went for it.”
Jindal’s duties in the newly created post of Secretary of Make Believe will include showing teachers how to speak to young children, mentally challenged adults and grandparents who have lost their faculties. He said he was “in a zone” during his speech.
“I was trying to see how many times I could say ‘Americans can do anything’ before it got cloying. In retrospect, it turned out the answer was ‘none,’ but I’m still glad I said it five times,” Jindal said.
Obama was impressed.
“Governor Jindal really took the baby talk to a level I wasn’t expecting,” the President told TPN. “And I tell you, while I was listening to him, I realized that I’m American. He was talking to me! I began to feel like even I could do anything.”
Republican strategists are concerned that Jindal is joining Obama’s team.
“He was a shoe-in for the GOP nomination in 2012,” said Newt Gingrich. “I mean Bobby he fits our criteria: Brown skin, beautiful wife, cute kids, Ivy League education. We hope voters think he’s Barack.”
Jindal, however, doesn’t think that will happen.
“After that speech I gave, I don’t think anyone will confuse me with the president,” he said. “But on the other hand, I did show I have a speaking style that makes listeners want to jump out of a window. That is more like a Republican candidate, isn’t it?”
Then he paused and said, “But you know, Americans can do anything. And Republicans are Americans. They, too, can do anything. Maybe they still will vote for me.”
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