Adoption, African American, family, Humor, Satire

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Adopt Two More Black Children

By Shawna Collier

serie_arnold-et-willy_4_1141981762-copyArnold and Willis with their new dad

(HARLEM) Fresh off their appearance at the Oscars, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt told The Peoples News that they’re adopting two more children. And unlike with their other children, when they traveled to Cambodia, Vietnam and Ethiopia, this time, they simply went to Harlem and Chicago.

“Sure we’ve gathered beautiful brown children from all over the world to help create our blended family,” Jolie said. “But we knew it wouldn’t be complete until we had some children from America.”

The couple first fell in love with 13-year-old Willis (whose former last name was Jackson) while Jolie was pregnant with her twins, Vivienne and Knox. Willis had been living in Harlem for the last year with foster parents Bernice and Phil Fish, a retired cop. But when the Jolie-Pitts tried to adopt the teen into their life of luxury, Willis refused to go unless they also took in his little brother, Arnold, who was living in Chicago.

“They were trying to treat me like a jive turkey,” said Willis. “No way I was going with them white dudes without my little bro.”

The Jolie-Pitts were hesitant when they met the smart-alecky Arnold, 10, who had lived with an aunt, Louise Jefferson, and her husband, George, on New York’s upper east side before moving to the Chicago projects where he spent time with Florida Evans, a widowed school bus driver.

“Chicago obviously wasn’t the best environment for him. The Satan Knights and the Warlords were having a rumble when we got there,” Pitt said. “On top of that, Mrs. Evans had a habit of leaving her door unlocked at all times, day or night. People, even people they didn’t like, were streaming in and out of there like it was Grand Central Station.”

Arnold won the couple over once they learned he had a speech impediment.

“He has trouble saying certain words: ‘what’ ‘are’ ‘you’ ‘talking’ and ‘about,'” Willis said. “When those words come out of his mouth, they’re all mish-mashed. But he’ll say them over and over until somebody laughs.”

The brothers look forward to settling in with the family, which now includes eight children, including younger siblings Maddox, Pax, Zahara, Shiloh and the twins. Their prospective parents are excited too.

“We’re hoping they can show us how to take care of Zahara’s hair,” Jolie said. “Someone sure has to.”

Note: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News.

© 2009 The Peoples News

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Discussion

9 thoughts on “Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Adopt Two More Black Children

  1. Are they collecting human colors or something? I mean what has gotten into Jolie’s head? I know that Pitt is involved with this somehow but he only started to this when he got married to Jolie. Also, based on Jolie first statement, it sounds like she really is collecting human colors. She should have made it sound un-offending.

    Posted by Fred | February 24, 2009, 8:47 am
  2. Oh my… how many was that? Good job! I think though, with just a little more effort, you could have added a Sanford or Huxtable.

    Posted by Renee | February 24, 2009, 9:49 am
  3. You guys need to quit! I canNOT have my co-workers looking over at me like I lost my mind because I can’t stop laughing at you!

    On point at always, though. 🙂

    Posted by Vix | February 24, 2009, 10:22 am
  4. I love it!

    Posted by Rose | February 24, 2009, 10:28 am
  5. Re: Fred, Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, I hope.

    Posted by Ed | February 24, 2009, 10:47 am
  6. Ummmm…….

    1. Jolie & Pitt are not married.

    2. This article is satire (aka a joke – if you’re unable to look up satire in a dictionary).

    3. “based on Jolie [sic] first statement” – see 2 above.

    4. Yea, I have to be careful at work too.

    Posted by Katchiaverax | February 26, 2009, 4:15 pm
  7. Children need loving parents and resources.

    Posted by august | March 2, 2009, 12:01 am
  8. If you can afford to adopt, especially people with the resources (unlike you or me) Pitt money can do thangs..Adopt like your crazy, help a child to grow up educated, loved and needed. Just don’t become the Josephine Baker story of adoption…….

    Posted by Mychaeltodd Robinson | March 4, 2009, 11:38 am
  9. Personally I don’t think that Mr. Handsome has received enough accolades for his humanitarian efforts. In my opinion a lot of celebrity do-gooders are totally phony and engage in so called good deeds merely for positive publicity. I have to say that I don’t think that George is one of the phonies out there in the world of celbrity do-gooders. I admire what he is doing for the Haitian people. I wish more celebrities were as real as he is when it comes to helping out those less fortunate in the world. So kudos to George and his desire to make this world a better place.

    Posted by Colene Trimmell | January 23, 2010, 2:03 am

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