African American, Barack Obama, Humor, politics, Satire

INAUGURATION DAY: A Strange Light Appears in the Morning Sky

By Craig Bates

sunriseindc3

The glowing orb was first spotted in Washington D.C. this morning.

(NEW YORK) This morning, shortly after 6 a.m., a giant, glowing orb appeared on the horizon of the eastern United States. Up and down the coast, panic spread as the mysterious sphere rose higher in the sky.

Astronomers believe the object is ‘the sun.’

“It heralds a new day, a new era even,” Grady Sanford, chief astronomist at NASA, told The Peoples News. “It brings illumination where once there was only darkness.”

The sun, Sanford explained, is a giant, gaseous ball about 93 million miles from Earth. The Earth orbits around it, making one trip per year, but experts say it hasn’t been seen in America since the fall of 2000. Experts disagreed on why it went away—some blamed Y2K, but others said plant life was the culprit.

“The bushes destroyed it,” insisted Shannon Ravenwood, an arborist at Johns Hopkins University. “They isolated themselves from everything else, and then grew so big that they plunged us, and seemingly the whole world, into an infernal darkness.”

Experts say the sun will continue to rise throughout the day and turn the sky a bright blue. Residents along the East Coast overcame their initial fear and embraced the golden rays.

In Washington D.C., where millions gathered to celebrate the new dawn, Diana Ross and Michael Jackson led revelers in a joyous song about the occasion.

“Everybody look up and feel the hope that we’ve been waiting for,” Ross told the crowd. “Freedom, you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully.”

Sanford said that shortly after noon today, everyone in America will be able to see the light.

Note: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News.

© 2009 The Peoples News

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Discussion

12 thoughts on “INAUGURATION DAY: A Strange Light Appears in the Morning Sky

  1. A Beautiful twang you wrote there. I’ll enjoy a fresh cup of java and watch that light shine through.

    Posted by Naja | January 20, 2009, 8:55 am
  2. Juz hope we all don get sunburned from too much sun

    Posted by Michael Cahill | January 20, 2009, 10:32 am
  3. That was a good one. LMAO The sun surely has began to rise again. The moon too!! and don’t forget the flowers and the manatees whose return to waters represents healing and cleanliness of the waters the have been polluted from run off of the bushes . .

    Posted by La' N' R' G' cia | January 20, 2009, 11:45 am
  4. Stocks down today,
    We still have to pay our mortgages.
    He isnt God. Bush wasnt Satan.
    Life gors on, one day at a time.

    Posted by Kelli | January 20, 2009, 6:55 pm
  5. This was truly deep. Thank you.

    Posted by Kit (Keep It Trill) | January 20, 2009, 8:21 pm
  6. Surely you’re not comparing the president elect to the dawning of a new day?? NObama! Not now, not ever!!

    Posted by Buffet | January 21, 2009, 5:33 am
    • The Peoples News Responds: Buffet, A+ for reading comprehension. If our “Federal Judge” story has taught us anything, deciphering satire can be a bit tricky sometimes. You seem to be in denial that Obama is our country’s new leader. We guess you have yet to see the light.

      Posted by thepeoplesnews | January 21, 2009, 7:14 am
  7. Seen the latest article where the people of Kenya think Obama is going to fix their country too? Yep, they want new schools, hospitals, jobs, and the American dream…. in Kenya…..

    Posted by Kelli | January 21, 2009, 9:37 am
  8. Peoples – Obama is a man, not a Messiah. He is going to make mistakes – are you ready for that? Give him a break. Obama-mania is so out of control…
    What has happened since you won your award? The page is not the same…

    The Peoples News responds: You guys remember we’re satire, right? I’d really rather not have a return of the caveat about the stories being not true, but maybe it’s necessary.

    As far as the page, you’re right, Renee: Shawna gave it a sparkling redesign that looks fantastic. Thanks for noticing.

    Posted by Renee | January 21, 2009, 2:08 pm
  9. The satire on this website is excellent, not Mark Twain or Johnathan Swift quality, but definitely close. I think that you are successful with this one, considering all the great responses.

    Keep up the good work.

    Posted by Kelli | January 22, 2009, 5:19 pm
  10. The recent change with this site has been great: more thought provoking, still entertaining.

    Congratulations to you all and your readers who come here to harvest…. Oh, YES! Congratulations to our new PRESIDENT. I think we are living in the ‘ever’ part now. rof

    Posted by Naja | January 24, 2009, 9:18 am
  11. I also notice things haven’t grown “dark” as so many predicted. Love the recent changes!

    Posted by Daymon The Basketeere | February 1, 2009, 6:00 am

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