Education, Humor, politics, Satire, Uncategorized

N-U-C-L-E-A-R Is Pronounced “New-clear”

NEWS IN BRIEF

It’s unclear why she can’t pronounce ‘nuclear’

(WASILLA, AK) The National Association of Elementary School Teachers has issued a directive that the word ‘nuclear’ should not be pronounced “new-kyu-ler.”

The issuance comes in the wake of perky Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin’s continued mispronunciation of the word.

“Gosh golly darn it, the word is pronounced ‘new-clear,’ just like it looks,” Connie Brown, co-chair of the NAEST, told The Peoples News. “I mean, doggone it, I don’t think it’s so much a sign of ignorance as it is goofiness.”

Earlier this year, NAEST told teachers to no longer allow the mispronunciation of the letter R.

President Bush has proudly mispronounced ‘nuclear’ since he was handed the presidency in 2000. He said he will continue with his pronunciation, regardless of the NAEST’s directive.

“I speak how I like, and the problem with how I say it, to me, is unclear,” Bush said, pronouncing the last word ‘un-kyu-ler.’

Note: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News. But we do hope that we don’t have to endure four more years of this awful pronunciation.

© 2008 The Peoples News

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Discussion

8 thoughts on “N-U-C-L-E-A-R Is Pronounced “New-clear”

  1. You know how they suddenly changed the name of the comet from Hae-lee’s to Hal-lee’s? Maybe that is what this is… “They” is tryin’ to pull a fast one on us and “they” think we ain’t payin’ attention but we are this time. How many family members does Bush have in education? ’cause Palin seems to have a lot. Maybe that’s how “they” do it.

    Posted by Renee | October 5, 2008, 12:25 pm
  2. As someone who routinely mispronounces words I sympathize with all Republicans over the mis-pronunciation of this word.

    It took approximately 78 fights with my husband before I even thought about trying to say a specific word in a different way than I had learned. And even then I find myself saying it wrong on purpose because it’s so annoying that he corrects me when all I want to do is get my overall thought out!

    I also know people who incorrectly say new-clear just because they know its not new-cue-ler but don’t know what it is exactly and if you say it fast enough no one will be able to tell!

    Posted by Danielle | October 6, 2008, 5:47 pm
  3. If anybody sets off some o’ dem nukes, no matter how you says it, den don’t none of it matter.

    Posted by nolanimrod | October 6, 2008, 11:02 pm
  4. I propose the words “specific”, “refrigerator”, and “library” be reviewed by NAEST. The rampant mispronunciation of these words as “pacific”, “frigidare” and “li-bury” has plagued our community for years.

    Posted by dizzle | October 9, 2008, 7:58 am
  5. the mispronounication isnt a mistake. its a way of softening the message. when promoting energy plan they talk of ‘new clear’ -as it gives the impression of clean / fresh / transparent. its a way of not startling the eclectorate. its a subtle form of persuasion used by NPL practitioners and magicians. we should should be worried about manipulation

    Posted by veryverybigmonkey | October 13, 2008, 1:53 pm
  6. It’s a conspiracy. It’s gotta be… I bet Karl Rove is behind it.

    Posted by Kelli | October 14, 2008, 1:05 pm
  7. What’s wrong with coming home from the liberry and gettin’ a pop out the frigidaire? You’re just an elitist, Dizzle.

    Posted by TeacherC | November 11, 2008, 3:30 pm
  8. The hydrogen bomb is a source of cheap energy that will heat your house; for a very short time.

    Posted by Edenstein | November 11, 2008, 9:23 pm

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