By Bill Matthews
(CHICAGO) Civil rights leader Jesse Jackson admitted Sunday he would like to have Barack Obama’s testicles.
“I want to cut his nuts off,” Jackson, 66, told a friend. Then looking down toward his own genitalia, he said if he could surgically graft the new, younger testicles onto himself, it “would keep hope alive.”
Jackson told The Peoples News that he’s jealous of Obama. In 1984 and 1988, Jackson ran for president but couldn’t get past the primary stage.
Now that Obama, the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, is close to fulfilling what Jackson started, the civil rights leader can’t accept that another African American has gone further in a bid for the White House. He used a seafood metaphor to explain his feelings.
“If we were crabs boiling in a pot together and he tried to escape the pot I would pull him back down,” Jackson said. “Then I would cut his nuts off.”
Obama spokesman Bill Burton said Jackson was a hater.
“We don’t need no hateration or holleration up in here!” Burton said. “Damn!”
The civil rights leader’s son, Jesse Jackson, Jr., said he wasn’t surprised by his father’s comments.
“He’s always wished he had the cojones to be a viable presidential candidate,” said Jackson, Jr.
The elder Jackson later said his comments were misinterpreted.
“I support Senator Obama. I hope he becomes president,” Jackson said. “I just want to cut his nuts off and have him not be more popular than me. Is that so wrong?”
Note: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News. It’s not real, but we hope it made you think.
© 2008 The Peoples News
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