Humor, politics, Satire

Barack Obama Starts Own Church

By Xavier Muhammad

 

 

 

Obama will find spiritual comfort in his house of worship.

 

(CHICAGO) After weeks of searching in vain for a new spiritual home, Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama has decided to start his own church.

 

The Most Reverential House of Yes We Can A.M.E Zion will hold its first service this Sunday in a building the Obama 2008 Presidential Campaign recently purchased on West 95th Street in Chicago.

 

“It makes a lot of sense,” Obama supporter Oprah Winfrey told The Peoples News in an exclusive interview. “After what Barack has done this year, a lot of people think he is bigger than Jesus. Some even think he’s bigger than me.”

 

The unorthodox move occurred after numerous spiritual leaders refused to let Obama join their churches. Given the public condemnations that his previous spiritual advisors Rev. Jeremiah Wright and Father Michael Fleger received, none of the other pastors wanted to risk the increased scrutiny his presence would bring.

 

“Not all my sermons were about giving God the glory,” said the Rev. Leroy Wilson of The Church of What’s Happening Now. “Sometimes they were about giving Whitey hell.”

 

In fact, just about every pastor who leads a predominantly African-American congregation has “said something crazy in their day,” said Cornell West, professor of religion at Princeton University.

 

“But most intelligent people understand that what the pastor says from the pulpit doesn’t necessarily reflect the mindset of every single person hearing those words,” West said. “Everyone except people who work for certain other campaigns, I guess.”

 

Many people, especially blacks, look at Obama as a miracle worker. Essie Smith, 81, a grandmother who lives on Chicago’s west side, has already put the candidate’s photo in her living room beside Martin Luther King Jr., Jesus and John F. Kennedy.

 

He’s a black man who beat a white woman and didn’t even have to go to jail,” Smith said. “If he can do that, he can do anything.”

 

Note: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News. It’s not real, but we hope it made you think.

 

© 2008 The Peoples News

Share This Story

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank :: post to facebook

Advertisements

Discussion

5 thoughts on “Barack Obama Starts Own Church

  1. That last line is what got me, y’all. HAHAHAHA!

    Posted by Lou | June 5, 2008, 7:40 am
  2. He is the messiah, pope, and parishioner all wrapped in one.

    Posted by totaltransformation | June 6, 2008, 8:17 am
  3. YES WE CAN!!!! lol.

    Posted by Blu | June 9, 2008, 2:04 pm
  4. “He’s a black man who beat a white woman and didn’t even have to go to jail,” Smith said. “If he can do that, he can do anything.”

    LMAO!!!

    Posted by Kyndal | November 7, 2008, 1:20 am
  5. WHOA, BARACK!!!!!!!!STEP BACK, OPRAH!!!!!!!!!!(IS SHE SAYING SHE IS LARGER THAN JESUS????????) BARACK’S OWN CHURCH? O.K., MAYBE. BUT DO WE NEED A BLDG. AND PROCLAIMING MAN TO SERVE GOD? WHATEVER HAPPENED TO SPIRIT AND TRUTH? BADDDD IDEA: T.V. SHOW!!!!!
    An African-American

    !

    Posted by wantacad | April 14, 2009, 9:40 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

The Peoples News on Twitter

The People’s News Archive

invisible hit counter
%d bloggers like this: