Humor, Satire

Viewers Can’t Wait to Ignore New Damon Wayans Sitcom

By Xavier Muhammad

Starring in a new sitcom this fall, Damon Wayans will certainly not be funny.

(LOS ANGELES) Upon hearing that Damon Wayans will be returning to TV this fall, an enthusiastic public eagerly anticipated not watching the new show.

“I’ve been waiting to ignore a Damon Wayans show for six years now, ever since his last one,” Rodney Bell told The Peoples News.

When informed that Wayans’ previous sitcom, My Wife and Kids, had run until 2005, Bell didn’t miss a beat.

“Yes, but I started ignoring it in 2002,” he said proudly.

Wayans is probably one of the biggest, most deservedly ignored stars in Hollywood. His new show, announced April 30 by ABC, is called Never Better. It casts Wayans as a recovering alcoholic struggling to be a good husband and father.

“I can’t wait,” said an excited Beverly Jean. “All my friends will probably gather together when the show comes on, make popcorn, and watch something else. Just like with In Loving Color, except the exact opposite.”

In Living Color, a sketch comedy show that debuted in 1990 with a predominantly African American cast, was the original must-see TV for a generation of blacks. Despite the presence of his older brother Keenan and young comics Jim Carrey and David Alan Grier, Wayans, who created characters like Homey the Clown and movie critic Antoine Merriweather, was the show’s most brilliant star.

But before starring in Color, he had already given a glimpse to how genuinely un-funny he could be. He didn’t provoke a single laugh during his sole season on Saturday Night Live in the mid-1980s, and his turn in 1988’s Earth Girls Are Easy proved just as un-laughable. After he left In Living Color, Wayans quickly returned to form by not being funny in movies like Mo’ Money, The Great White Hype and Blankman.

“Wow, just hearing those names makes me embarrassed for his children,” said longtime ignorer Regina Chamberlain. “Maybe someone could just pay him to not make movies?”

It’s been so long since Wayans was funny, that most Americans—even African Americans who proudly declare love for Katt Williams—won’t admit to liking him.

There is a hope that with the new show Wayans can capture some of the magic that has rocketed former Color castmates like Carrey, Jennifer Lopez, Jamie Foxx and his younger brothers, Shawn and Marlon Wayans, to sustained superstardom. But he’s got a long road to climb.

“There’s a lot that’s funny about recovering alcoholics. After all, it worked quite hilariously for Sam on Cheers, so maybe it could work here,” said Time magazine TV critic James Poniewozik. “If only Damon Wayans wasn’t in it.”

Note: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News. It’s not real, but we hope it made you think.

© 2008 The Peoples News

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Discussion

10 thoughts on “Viewers Can’t Wait to Ignore New Damon Wayans Sitcom

  1. I thought I was the only one that thought My Wife and Kids was awful. I’ll be ignoring Never Better this fall for sure. Keep the new stuff coming.

    Posted by Amy | May 14, 2008, 9:57 am
  2. Once again y’all have managed to force a smile out of me this morning. Got to admit I kinda dug “Wife and Kids”, though. Until the whole “teen pregnancy” sub-plot. Which was of course depressing and not very funny at all.

    Posted by Lou | May 15, 2008, 7:45 am
  3. I personally thought that Blankman was hilarious. I still laugh when the movie comes on cable.

    Posted by Moka | May 15, 2008, 8:53 am
  4. You all are wrong for this…but it’s so true. By the way, you all forgot to mention The Underground, a comedy series on Showtime that was extremely unfunny and showed that Damon’s son inherited his unfunny gene also.

    Posted by TeacherC | May 15, 2008, 11:09 am
  5. People News truly makes my day! I am in here with tears in my eyes because I totally agree with 99.9 % of your articles!

    Posted by 'Chelle | May 15, 2008, 12:29 pm
  6. Hold up…y’all forgot that they were also in the movie White Girls.

    *best omg white girl voice*

    “Let’s..go….SHOPPING!!!!!!”

    Posted by Blu | May 16, 2008, 9:55 am
  7. Yeah….so true. I have been ignoring him for quite some time LOL.

    Posted by Naemah | May 19, 2008, 2:41 pm
  8. How can you judge a show before you see it. Seems like sabotage to me . Damon can crack me up somtimes i am looking forward to this new show

    Posted by twig | July 31, 2008, 4:20 pm
  9. My Wife and Kids was the best….until the pregnancy like someone said before me…..the rest can continue to be IGNORED! lol

    Posted by Kyndal | November 7, 2008, 1:29 am
  10. Really ppl all u guys are dumb as sh*# talking about a person that makes money but what r all u dumb f*#$s doing. Talking about a person that does something for a living

    Posted by hatesdumb ppl | May 8, 2011, 11:35 am

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