Humor, Satire

Blacks Find True Love With Barack

By Bill Matthews

Blacks fell madly in love when Barack pointed to them in the audience

Blacks fainted when Barack pointed to them last night.

(JACKSONVILLE) Now that Blacks have found happiness with Barack Obama, they deny that they ever loved the Clintons.

“I thought it was love, but I was so young then,” say Blacks. “When I compare my feelings then to how I feel now about Barack, I can see I was never really in love with the Clintons.”

It’s a jarring turnaround. The love affair between Blacks and the Clintons dates to 1992, shortly after they met. The Clintons wooed Blacks with kind words and an empathic gaze that let Blacks know the Clintons felt their pain. Blacks returned the love, saying they could really be themselves around the Clintons. But in the last few years, things have changed. Blacks felt like the Clintons were ignoring them, even taking their love for granted.

“They never wanted to do the things we wanted to do anymore,” say Blacks. “We didn’t talk. We didn’t go out. I’d been wanting to end it for a while but hoped to get past the holidays.”

The Clintons, however, were blindsided when Blacks put an end to the romance.

“This really came out of nowhere. We thought everything was fine,” say The Clintons, who are heartbroken. “Why don’t Blacks love us anymore?”

Two words: Barack Obama. When Barack entered their lives, Blacks didn’t fall for him right away. But soon, they forgot all about the Clintons.

“He had those ears that poke out a little bit much, and I didn’t know if he was Black enough for me at first,” say Blacks. “But he speaks so well, and he’s so cute. How can I not love him?”

Blacks are so smitten that they’ve filled up several notebooks scribbling “Barack+Blacks=LOVE4EVER.” Friends occasionally tease them with the familiar schoolyard rhyme Barack and Blacks sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. Blacks just blush, imagining what it would be like to be married to Barack.

The Clintons, however, haven’t given up on the romance. They call and text message Blacks all the time, hoping to rekindle the fire.

“No one is ever going to love Blacks the way we do,” say the Clintons. “We want us to go back to the way things were, when we were happy.”

Blacks, who initially felt sorry that the Clintons were so hurt, have since stopped taking their calls.

“Looking back, I think I was so in love with the Clintons because I was coming out of an abusive relationship,” say Blacks. “My crush before them ignored me at best and abused me at worst.”

Blacks were referring to Reagan, a Teflon-coated lothario with a silver tongue and senile mind.

For now, Blacks are happy, hoping things with Barack will work out.

“But just in case it doesn’t,” say Blacks, “that Harold Ford Jr. sure is cute.”

Note: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News. It’s not real, but we hope it made you think.

© 2008 The Peoples News

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8 thoughts on “Blacks Find True Love With Barack

  1. I still wondering who Mr. & Mrs. Blacks are.

    Posted by Lz4broc | April 10, 2008, 12:01 pm
  2. Okay, y’all will not have me laughing this loud this early in the morning. I hope y’all hiring over there if I get fired! LOL!

    Posted by Lou | April 11, 2008, 7:56 am
  3. Too funny. And yet, not the least bit false.

    Posted by Bri | April 11, 2008, 8:59 am
  4. Hilarious! This is too cute, I love it.

    Posted by Tazzee | April 11, 2008, 1:18 pm
  5. This is too funny! I loved BILL; I could care less about Hillary! That hasn’t changed, Obama or no Obama.

    Posted by Ann | April 14, 2008, 9:07 pm
  6. yeah never cared for hillary. too many pantsuits for that lady.

    at least Bill knew how to party.

    I wonder if Obama plays the drums or something…

    Posted by Lz4broc | April 18, 2008, 9:31 am
  7. That why we all love Obama, cause he the only one,
    . . . Love Obama, Love Obama, Obama Obama Obama ———
    (J Anthony Brown Murder Hit)
    Don’t forget that Blacks were also involved w/ Bush AGAINST their will. And he was nothin but a sorry playa. Its a wonder if Blacks will know how to act now that they may get a man who knows how to treat them right. Blacks will be lookin for chocolate and roses on the first date. lol

    Posted by La' N'R'G' cia | April 23, 2008, 12:53 pm


  1. Pingback: Barack Obama Starts Own Church « The Peoples News - August 8, 2008

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